


A Brother's Burden

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Extended Metaphors, Gen, and one big storm metaphor, but their cats are here!!!, i really have nothing to say this is just angst, like there is not a single happy line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: Seeing Yuuta’s sheets thrown off of him and bundled at the end of his bed cuts into Hinata’s heart and makes him bleed with guilt. How dare he feel bothered by cold feet when his poor brother didn’t even have blankets on him.
Relationships: Aoi Hinata & Aoi Yuuta
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	A Brother's Burden

**Author's Note:**

> hii this fic is inspired by a [comic](https://twitter.com/motokiie/status/1263237091363827714?s=20) by my friend [Moto](https://twitter.com/motokiie)!!   
> i hope u enjoy :,)

At any given moment, there is a storm happening somewhere in the world. There are bruised clouds hanging in the air, unleashing a downpour to soak the Earth. Sometimes the rain falls like a dam has been broken in the sky, and the godly storms have invoked enough water to flood and wash the land away. 

Other times, it’s the lightning striking an unfortunate tree, dried out from weeks of a seething drought. It catches fire, and a fiery storm of angry flames marches through a forest while the storm above in the sky continues to rage like a wolf howling at the moon. Then there’s also storms that catch you in their fingertips; the rain still ever present and demanding as it pounds on the roof, but the heartbeat of thunder is distant. A slow beat, like a tired drummer who sat on the streets all day and only had a few coins to show for it.

Unique twistings of air currents pushing clouds, limitless like a sine wave approaching infinity, manifesting these storms. Each and every one providing its own backhanded blessingings to people. Storms are rain, lightning, thunder, and the consequences of Mother Nature’s angst for the world.

So, why should anyone care about a single raindrop?

A small free-falling water droplet let go from its comfy home in the sky. It makes not a single difference to the course of a river, to the splatter against an umbrella, or to its collection into a puddle that a child splashes in. No one bothers to think of one lonely raindrop, not when there’s an entire storm.

But when Hinata is wiping away tears with his sweatshirt’s raggedy sleeve from his brother’s pained face, each and every single drop of water that falls from his eyes bleeds Hinata like thorns clasping around his heart. 

Yuuta’s pain is a storm of its own. Right now, it’s tears falling down his face, heavy and plenty. A sniffling nose overrunning, and while it may be gross, Hinata takes care to wipe it anyways. Yuuta’s always been a crier, something that Hinata curses himself for because maybe if he had eyes that could cry, then all the  **burden** wouldn’t be on Yuuta. But no, Yuuta’s the one that’s plagued with sobbings strong enough to make his whole body tremble, and for his breathing to come out in stuttered gasps.

It isn’t a stationary storm though, because at some point Yuuta decides he’s had enough of Hinata’s comfort and swipes away his hand. Yuuta pushes his shoulder to separate them, and Hinata lets it happen, for he’s as unlucky as that lightning struck branch in the forest. He supposes they both carry that misfortune, but Hinata likes to think that over the years he’s managed to become the sole cursed child in the Aoi family.

Hinata remains passive while Yuuta yells at him. His voice sounds congested from his stuffy nose, but still it raises and seethes with an anger that makes Hinata feel like every breath he takes is a lung full of smoke.

With the same compulsion of a smoker, Hinata breathes out half-truths that curl and twist around Yuuta like a cloud of smoke. Each shout dissipates the fog, and Hinata knows his  **burden** as a brother and accepts it, so when he raises his voice back and blows a storm around his brother. It’s a dull hope that it could smother Yuuta’s thundering shouts, and all it does is combine into one great big storm. Their yells are whips of lightning, striking each other with only Yuuta’s returning sobs acting as thunder.

When Yuuta’s hands tug at his hair he lets out a disjointed noise that’s like an increasing rain, a torrential fall to flood the ground. That same water rises in Hinata and replaces the angry smoke with a mournful tide, but Hinata has no chance to express his grievances because Yuuta’s turned his back on him. He takes the storm with him with his heavy steps to his room, and the slam of his door is what finally makes Hinata flinch.

There is no just reason for Hinata’s sadness, and each step that brings him to his own room is another motion severing the fragile ties he has with Yuuta. Curling up in his bed isn’t so he can lick his wounds, it’s just so that the black fur ball has a warm body to snuggle up against.

“Hey, Miku,” Hinata whispers as he scratches behind her ears. Her eyes peer open and at the sight of her papa she begins a melody of purring and eases back to sleep. 

Picking the cat out at the adoption center had been easy to Hinata. All black and separated from her fellow kittens, Hinata felt an immediate kinship with her. He had no fear of the bad luck a black cat could bring, since his life was already as unlucky as it got.

Petting her is something to occupy his hands with, but soon enough his skin crawls with restlessness and he’s picking at his nails. It’s a bad habit, and one he only realizes he’s doing when there’s blood coating the edges of his nails.

He has no care for his blood though. All that’s going through his mind is how he can feel the thrum of thunder radiating from Yuuta’s room. The storm is distant, and while Hinata knows it’s dying down, he still counts the pulsing heartbeats he hears in his ears like counts of thunder. He spaces out, the bed under him feeling as meaningless as a smile is to him on the street when they’re performing. He focuses back in. Miku’s fur is soft in his fingertips- he spares a moment to be thankful they went to petting her instead of picking at himself- and she stopped purring a while ago when she drifted off into a deeper sleep. 

Despite his moments of disconnect, he knows he doesn’t fall asleep. If he did, his body wouldn’t feel so heavy. His legs wouldn’t be resting like bricks on his bed, and he’d have strength to lift his head up to try and rise out of bed. 

All his strength goes towards clicking the power button on his phone and looking at the time. Sometimes it’s only been a minute when he checks again, other times it’s been an hour, yet it always feels like not a second has gone by.

It’s when his phone reads 4:13am that the pulsing in his ears is gone, and his energy comes back to him if only because the danger of the storm is over. He’s in the aftermath, nothing but liquid sunshine hitting him, yet he doesn’t feel an ounce of the warmth the sun tries to impose on him. He won’t feel that warmth until he can check on Yuuta, and truly put this storm behind the both of them.

The floor chills his toes, but he doesn’t bother slipping on socks. It’d be too deserving of him to try and warm himself up when he’s the one that’s caused this storm to chill him to his core. 

So, Hinata continues with his quiet feet creeping across the floor. He intends to turn the corner and go to Yuuta’s room, yet he feels frozen. Maybe he should have put socks on. 

Maybe he should have been a better brother.

His throat tightens, and the way his heart throbs makes him fear the storm will return, so he takes quick steps to the kitchen. A glass of water is in his hands and though he just filled it he doesn’t remember even turning the sink on. Perhaps it was because of the returning storm, and it had collected the sprinkling rainwater. Or perhaps Hinata had finally managed to cry, and cried enough that it could fill an entire glass. The thought makes his heart groan, and when he blinks his eyes there’s not a single drop that falls down. 

Drinking the water does little to make his throat feel less tight, but Hinata supposes drowning could be his punishment. It’s all he can do to swallow it down without choking, yet all he can manage is two mouthfuls before he feels nausea and sets the cup down. He feels no better than he did a minute ago, and each second wasted trying to steady himself is another one he’s failing as a brother.

Miku had followed him into the kitchen, hoping that it was breakfast time and Hinata was going to pour kibble into her bowl. He knew that was the true reason she followed him, that’s what she was pavloved to believe when Hinata got up from bed in the morning. But Hinata wanted to believe that she trailed him because of their bond as cursed beings. It was his  **burden** to be a monster, and he’d never drag Yuuta down with him into Hell, but Hinata imagined Miku was a guide for his eventual descent.

He walked past her now though. He’s run out of seconds to spare and avoid his  **burdens** , so his feet go up and down like a robot who has no heart and only its single autonomous action and bring him to his brother’s room.

Seeing Yuuta’s sheets thrown off of him and bundled at the end of his bed cuts into Hinata’s heart and makes him bleed with guilt. How dare he feel bothered by cold feet when his poor brother didn’t even have blankets on him. Yuuta’s body was curled up facing away from the doorway, and Hinata sighed in relief that despite it all his brother managed to fall asleep.

Nothing else really matters to Hinata than to make amends to Yuuta, and it didn’t matter that Yuuta was asleep. Hinata pulled the covers up over him, careful to not disturb Chibi on the side of the bed twitching her whiskers at Hinata’s movement. If a storm were to ever wipe Hinata away, he hoped Chibi would be enough to comfort Yuuta in the aftermath; she was a good cat, a tabby runt chosen by Yuuta because, like Hinata and Miku, he felt connected to her.

Yuuta’s orange hair was fanned out across his pillow like autumn leaves gathered in piles on the ground, and his shoulders rose to his breaths in a slow rhythm. Hinata leaned down to kiss the side of his head, leaving not an apology but simply a promise to be better. 

It was a liar’s promise, one bound to be broken again and again, yet Hinata would continue to mend it over and over. One day he would get it right.

Hinata knelt back on his heels to be eye level with Chibi, who squinted at him with all the suspicion that Hinata deserved. She was a good guardian, always there for Yuuta and never hurting him. Hinata pressed a kiss to her forehead and ran a hand over her back, giving her his thanks.

A single raindrop has no effect on the world. In the large scale of things, it is meaningless- you do not pay attention to the single drop of rain in a storm, for there are countless others rushing down, When a friend asks for the weather, you do not say you are going to be visited by unique raindrops that all deserve equal attention. You say that it is going to rain.

Hinata carries a single raindrop with him at all times. It’s one no one in the world pays attention to, not even the cloud where it came from. It was released into such a gloomy world, destined for an existence of sadness and pain. He holds it close to him and admires it like the unique drop of water that it is, and he continues to be thankful that such a wonderful drop can exist in the hardened world.

No one will care about a single raindrop, but Hinata  **burdens** it anyway.

No one cared about Yuuta Aoi, but Hinata  **burdens** the weight of Yuuta’s sadness to make him happy.

No one cares about Hinata.

And he thinks that’s how it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> everything hurts. here's my [twitter ](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) where u can tell me to stop writing 2wink angst


End file.
